One that comes to mind for me: “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is not always true. Maybe even only half the time! Are there any phrases you tend to hear and shake your head at?
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
No. What doesn’t kill you creates trauma.
Yeah what didn’t kill me gave me a chronic disease. I’m weak as hell compared to 3 years ago.
For me it turned me into a depressed person who no longer feels emotion the way I did before. I’m 99% numb. The other 1% is manic attacks.
Shout out to my ex who started on #2 recently, as people keep telling me.
Maybe they got therapy and will be a better person this time. Maybe #2 will be the person they need. Whatever. Peace.✌🏽
Science has proven that what doesn’t kill you (like a virus) actually weakens you. But, conversely, you become more efficient at responding to that specific thing so it only appears like it made you stronger.
I’m a fan of “what doesn’t kill you only serves to postpone the inevitable.” But maybe that’s a bit fatalistic.
I won’t judge. Life isn’t a picnic for most.
It’s not a picnic, and doesn’t have to be. Without the bad we wouldn’t always appreciate the good things in life. I’ve been fortunate, I’m living well these days, happily married, and haven’t suffered from depression in probably over a decade now (though anxiety is an ever present low buzz in the background. I’m used to it).
But that phrase is irksome. What doesn’t kill you doesn’t always make you stronger. Sometimes it fucks up your life. Sometimes it’s a roadblock, other times it’s life altering in unforeseen ways, and occasionally the consequences of what doesn’t kill is a tragic fate worse than death.
Tripping and falling might not kill me, might just lead to embarrassment. Or it could lead to CTE or irreversible brain damage from head trauma. Certainly not stronger for that sort of thing.
What doesn’t kill you gets exrea practice for next time.
Not a fan of “it is what it is”. It’s called a thought-terminating cliche. It often means “I’m tired of talking about this, do it my way” when my boss says it.
,I feel like this one is context dependent. Sometimes it’s just acceptance of the situation.
“Wish it weren’t so hot outside, but this is Texas in August. It is what it is.”
Context definitely matters. Your example wouldn’t bother me.
Some people seem to think it’s a mic drop in other contexts.
An entirely hollow statement, yet somehow ringing with apathy.
I use it for things that can be talked about for ages, but nothing can be changed about them. I don’t use it to terminate discussion, but more of a well understood quick hand for acceptance and sometimes resignation.
“Agree to disagree” is even worse, especially since often the thing you’re arguing about is an empirical goddamn fact and they are not entitled to “disagree” about it. That’s not having a difference of opinion; that’s just fucking being wrong!
It’s what it’s
Ooo I get that one, but kinda the opposite way. I tell someone it has to be done this way, or to a certain standard, for it to be right. They don’t want to, so they respond with that nonsense.
It do be like that
I like it. It’s premise is accepting things beyond your control, allowing someone to stoically move forward rather than dwell in anxiety and disbelief.
Tautology is tautology, as I say.
The first rule of the tautology club…
I agree, when it’s used as a thought-terminating cliché. It’s also very applicable to impart acceptance of something that you can’t control.
I used it today to communicate my feelings on a topic I can’t control. Like, me venting isnt going to improve my or the questioners situation.
In principal I am against thought-termination. Sometimes, like a good dog, you gotta put a thought out of its misery
I use it more in acceptance, like if I’m late for work and I hit traffic. Short of driving up the shoulder like an asshole, I’m going to be late. So rather than be stressed for the rest of my commute, I just accept that I’ll be late. It is what it is.
It’s good for when talking about things beyond your control. They way your boss is using it is bullshit. In that case, it is what he’s choosing to decide it is.
Titties what titties. Why did I think this would be funny
“Everything happens for a reason .”
No. Fuck no, and fuck you. I DARE you to say that to the faces of the endless innocent people—many of whom are CHILDREN—who have been murdered, tortured, abused, enslaved, raped, ect.
I hate how people use this but not the phrase itself.
Everything DOES happen for a reason. It’s literal, precise, and accurate. Reasons dont need to be mysterious, aloof, or unknowable. They often are because we choose to stop learning but everything does happen for a reason so start looking for better questions
I mean, everything does happen for a reason. It’s just that most of the time, the reason is “because so-and-so is an asshole”. It makes it essentially a useless platitude, but not an untrue one. I definitely take issue with the implication of it, that there’s some supreme, all-knowing authority in the universe who has this complicated, labyrinthine plan for everyone that involves massive amounts of suffering. That whole “mysterious plan of God” thing is a way for Christians to take credit for all of the good stuff that happens, while downplaying all of the bad stuff that happens as just “part of God’s plan!” It’s insidious.
I think I get the sentiment that you are angry at but there is nothing wrong with that statement. It just doesn’t mean “whelp, there must be some higher purpose those things are serving that we don’t see” and is more like “there are some awful people doing bad things” or “they just were living in a seismic area” or “they had some genes not compatible with their survival”… There are always reasons. Not satisfying or purpose fulfilling reasons, just reasons.
In response to gross privacy violations from big companies and governments:
“If you’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve got nothing to fear.”
Here’s a great response to that:
If you’re at a house party and you need to take a shit, do you do it with the door wide open so everyone can see and smell you? Or do you actually understand, when it comes down to it, that there are valid reasons for wanting privacy other than wanting to get away with something wrong or illegal?
“He/she just tells it like it is” No, they are just saying things that resonate with you, but have no actual alignment with data, facts or morality. Simply saying things with no filter doesn’t equal “like it is”. I find it is usually attributed to, at best, oversimplified or completely ignorant statements, at worst, misleading and/or hateful statements.
They’re just saying that it feels good to their confirmation bias.
“they say racist things and i like that because people don’t like it when i say it. this way i can be racist but outsource the messaging”
good for other kinds of bigotry and douchebaggery
You just reminded me of this
Those who champion “brutal honesty” are more interested in the brutality than the honest
“it’s just a few bad apples”
That’s only half the saying. It is used most of the time as if the full thing is “a few bad apples aren’t a problem because the rest are fine” rather than the real thing “a few bad apples spoil the lot.”
Yeah. I always vehemently agree with the person misusing. “Yes! That’s exactly it. A few bad apples spoil the bunch. Perfectly captures the problem, friend! Good call.”
Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you numb and traumatized, not stronger. Big difference.
Whatever doesn’t kill you might make you stronger, but it might also make you weaker. It’s highly dependent on the circumstances.
Jimmy Carr said it best:
My father always said ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…until the accident.’
I liked the quote from Dr. Hibbert on the Simpsons:
“You know what they say, whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”
“Oh ho ho ho, no… It’s made you weak as a kitten!”
Tell that to everyone with diabetes 2 that.
“Quick question” just means you want a quick answer
I use this, and I struggle a little to disengage when the person I ask interprets it as “help me figure out how to solve this” when they don’t actually have the “short answer”.
I think there is rarely a short answer despite what the question implies
Yeah, that’s fair, especially in software work.
When you forget what you were about to say:
“Must not have been important”
How in the ever-living fuck could anybody come to that conclusion?
I’d only ever say it while referring to myself, and when I do it’s not of a consolation to myself or maybe as a way to tell the other person to not feel sorry about distracting me and making me forget. Is that the same way you interpret it?
I appreciate this alternative interpretation. Many of the responses here are helping to show the many lenses that can be looked through at the same phrases!
Every single time that’s happened to me and I later remembered what it was, it wasn’t important.
I meean, if it was really important, it’s very unlikely you would forget it. We use that saying a ton here
"No pain, no gain. "
As someone who’s been running for over 30 years and working ou for 20, if there is pain, there is injury. When there is injury, you take a break and regress. People may say that muscle pain or stiff muscles are a sign of a good workout, not an injury. However, even with those your risk of injury is much higher, and you’ll eventually hurt yourself. “No pain” should be one of the outcomes of smart exercise, not an admonishment for not working hard enough.
I think this extends to “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.
Mentally, maybe, if you’re the right crop for the circumstance. But, generally, no. It’s such an off target idea.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.”
This is literally not the definition of insanity.
I’d slightly change the sentence from ‘and expecting’ to ‘until you get’ (different results) because then you’d have a definition of coercion which is but one technique in how opportunistic manipulators prey on others with the statistics approach. Manipulation is one of the identifiers of NPD and APD.
On the ground level I wouldn’t call predatory salespeople and PUA the opposite of ‘insane’ although that word ‘insane’ has been retired in order to address mental health.
So in essence that definition you called up really is indeed way off when it comes to addressing mental health.
Any phrase that begins with “no offense but”. Just say it, don’t add that phrase, it makes any statement look more offensive.
“to be honest”
So, you’ve been dishonest until this point?
That’s why I prefer “to be frank” or “to be blunt.” Same implication but without that possibility.
Stand-up meeting: “to be frank, Frank is starting his holiday in Frankfurt next week so…”
“Good vibes only”.
I don’t agree with it because if your life is trying to be only good things, all the time, then that means you don’t know what bad times are. It means everything in your life is artificial and you have no perspective on the world around you.
It’s not human to expect only to feel good all the time. It tells me there’s a drug induced artificial happyness that’s probably a bigger problem then just having a rough day.
You can have the worst day of you life and still have good vibes. The real toxic saying would be “good moods only.”
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results,” It’s like nails on a chalkboard every time I hear it. There is a very limited context where it may be applicable, but mostly it’s used to give up trying or mock someone for failing a task. Have you never gotten better at something over time? Learned an instrument? Played a hard video game? Learned to ride a bike? It stops problem solving dead and kills motivation making it less than useless. Oh and its misattributed to Einstein like every other shitty quote
And very much the opposite of how many good things came to be - for example, inventors typically invent things with many failures first. Not 100% sure this is Thomas Edison but a quote attributed to him goes “I didn’t fail 1000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1000 steps.”
This is the direct opposite of the saying.
If you try 1000 different combinations of bulb design you are not doing the same thing over and over again. It would be insane to attempt to make a light bulb 1000 times out of the same exact material and design and expect a different outcome.
The entire point of the saying is learn from your failures. Make adjustments. Try something slightly different.
Yes, I think what you wrote is the point. But when he was actively inventing it and was trying it for the 900th time (with variance), I feel like that’s exactly when someone would call that insanity. Because, to the outside world, it looks like he’s just trying this thing over and over and expecting to make the light bulb happen, but it looks crazy to everyone else.
I was trying to point out that there may be more nuance going on than someone simply doing something over and over and expecting different results.
