As you get older you care less and less what people think, and you get better and better at taking care of numero uno.

I invite you to stick around long enough to see that this is true, no matter how implausible it might seem right now.

While you’re eating, it’s fine to look at your food. When someone’s talking, it’s ok to look at them. All the other times, just look around. Other tables, out the window, decor, other people, etc. As long as you don’t linger, it’s never gonna look weird. Even if you do linger, it’s whatever, just say you enjoy whatever you’re looking at. Decor, someone’s eyeglasses, makeup, whatever.

Just breathe bro, you’re overthinking everything. I used to feel like this, too, it’ll get easier.

Make some eye contact when you’re talking to the person you’re with. You don’t have to stare, but enough to show that you’re listening/ engaged.

Don’t be afraid to be awkward. Embrace it. Try to have fun.

Just look wherever, don’t overthink it.

You’re there to eat, as everyone else. It’s not like you have some instagram gym diva a table over that’s itching to publicly shame you.

I usually focus on my food, converse with the others i’m there with and occasionally look around to see if someone ordered something i want too.

If people take offense in that, so be it. Go be offended.

If you’re socially not allowed to people watch, bring a newspaper or a book.

Might as well look at your phone then, wherever you sit. It’s 2024, that’s considered normal these days right?

Or maybe, just maybe find a date to bring along with, and at least attempt to try holding a normal conversation and try getting to know each other.

Don’t worry about what you’re looking at or what’s around you. Try this life hack: Concentrate on your thoughts.

1. Go through your mind and start thinking of all the things you’re grateful for.

2. Do simple math problems in your head.

things like that. They keep your mind busy and if you’re worried about what people think of you when they see you, if your mind is occupied with things like that, people around you will see you as genuinely pensive with no affectations or awkwardness.

And if you’re still worried about what you’re looking at, there is a concept in yoga called DRISHTI, which is “the thing (s) you happen to be looking at when you are concentrating or deep in thought.” It doesn’t matter what you’re looking at and It’s okay to look at nothing in particular when you’re concentrating /deep in thought.

You just sit there and stare at your phone like a normal person. Or you could take a book.

If I’m not looking at my food, I just look at other people’s food. I hate eye contact, conversation, and eating near people so restaurants are awful for me.

I usually either just look at whoever is talking at the moment, or at my food while I’m eating it. I’ve never gone out to eat with a group where no one was talking.

The correct answer is to find someone who isn’t facing towards you and stare at their back.

Alternatively, if you put your hand on your chin like you’re thinking of something, then you can stare at your food while looking like you’re thinking, instead of like you’re sad.

I love this question.

And sitting in a place of extreme privilege I say, meh, be you. Look everywhere. Here, there, wherever. If you catch someone’s eyes share a quick smile and look somewhere else. Fuck’m

First, be you.

Second, try to remember no one cares, and if they do, that’s on them.

Third, ok, so don’t stare, look everywhere.

This probably isn’t the answer you’re looking for. Sorry. But it is the answer that sprang into my brain. And in the theme of “be you” I typed it.

It’s a great question and lots of folks have good perspectives. Big hugs and your you is awesome

and you can’t stare at people.

You can’t?

I can. :)

Look around for the person with the biggest tits. Rest your eyes there, whenever you don’t need them for your eating (I mean the eyes).

If they belong to a person of your preferred sex, you are lucky. Otherwise, do it anyway, just for practising.