Moving to a walkable city. Turns out I just hate cars and I hated the fact that I had to drive to have any sort of social gathering.
Not being social.
I realized in my 40’s that my parents were wrong. You don’t actually have to be social butterfly to be happy.
I’m missing the need for social interaction. World didn’t end. I’m completely happy without it and there are plenty of jobs that don’t extensively need it.
So liberating. No amount of therapy really helped on the inside. It was all just pretending.
It’s tricky for me though because I’ve always had a social need. I don’t have a need for sex like the majority of other humans do, but I do have a need to be social. Lickily I fulfill most of my social needs by going to work, but it can be stressful at times.
Making a fool of myself on purpose and laughing along. Karaoke bars, stand-up comedy open mic nights, improv theater.
It helps you see that people can’t really see behind each other’s “mask” all that well. All confidence is made up, so play along and it just sort of materializes.
Another way to do that is to try and become fluent in a new language. You build a different persona for each language you use, so might as well become confident in the new one on purpose.
Removing other stressors and toxic people from my life. Listening to emotional responses.
My anxiety from a rough relationship was giving me generalized social anxiety.
Sometimes you meet people and give then a chance before your figure it out. You can just cut them off once you see their toxicity. They’ll survive just fine so don’t worry about them. There’s plenty of other people who are ready for good and healthy friendships.
Self-criticism fueled my anxiety and depression. Compassion and acceptance have significantly improved my well-being.
This is also a big issue for me. When I felt embarrassed because of something I did, I would tall myself, “You’re so stupid!” Which launched me into a shame spiral.
What has helped me break out of the spiral is to notice when I tell myself I am stupid and actively respond, “No I am not”
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor
Doing mutual aid
Doing socialization anyway … is the therapist-backed approach.
Nihilism works wonders I guess. So does not going outside.
A combination of therapy and meds.
Wellbutrin
Vipassana meditation. There are centers all over the globe offering free 10 day courses.
A mixture of practice, and genuinely not caring what the outcome is.
Meds.
Meds are the only thing that has ever helped.
With meda you bite ?
Training. I sold things at a market on weekends and told my kids it was “remedial sales and social skills training”. I’m still not a social butterfly by any stretch, but fake it till you make it helped me to be more comfortable talking to people.
Benzodiazepines. Which is why I don’t eat them anymore.
quitting benzo relieved social anxiety?
Oh my no. Taking them did… but they were too alluring. I love them soooo much but taking them all the time did not go well for me, so I had to stop.
yes, these aren’t sustainable in daily life. but benzodiazepines are wonders in case of panic disorders or in anxiety in general. saved my life.
Oh absolutely. I was eating them unsustainably hahaha. They’re the best thing ever for panic attacks… and they cure hangovers.
