I’m about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I’ve told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.
Today I witnessed a group of coworkers almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born. I’ve heard stuff like “Most men are hard working and want to support their families so they don’t take leave”.
To me it was a no brainer, I’m getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months. and for someone who hasn’t taken a day breathe in the past 3 years I think I deserve it.
I’m in the US so I know it’s a “strange” concept, but people have seemed genuinely upset, people it doesn’t affect at all. Again, it’s a state program available to almost anyone who’s worked in the past 2 years, I’ve talked to soon to be dads who scoffed at the idea and were happy to use a week of pto and that’s it.
I feel like I’m missing something.
Americans are weird.
Honestly the time with your partner and kid is precious irreplaceable.
Anyone who’s weird about it is insecure about their own paternal involvement.
Your coworkers are fucking idiots.
What moron would pass up on 85% paid leave??
Honestly it took me years to lose the American work mindset. It was destroying my brain.
Take the leave and feel no shame. Others are reacting because you taking leave challenges their understanding of work. Something that is exceedingly rare in the US.
You are surrounded with workaholic, misogynists. My company gives full pay for 12 weeks for mothers and fathers. Several of my coworkers, mostly men, have used their leave in full (usually 9 weeks together and the other 3 broken up). Nobody ever looks down on people for taking leave.
Maybe they would take all of it if it was for full pay. Ya’ll motherfuckers need a union.
I went through the same thing when I took my paternity leave. Other male coworkers bragged about how they went back to work the day after their kid was born.
It’s a culture thing where our society is conditioned to be boot lickers for the ruling class. I responded to them at the time, “Congratulations on being a bad father, I’m going to take every day entitled to me”
Don’t fall into their trap.
Yup. Had old union buddies I was talking to after my first, and I brought up that he had a diaper blowout earlier, and they were like “I’ve never changed a diaper in my life!”
Just told them " damn, I’d be too embarrassed to admit I were that bad of a father in public…"
It’s just hyperbolic masculine capitalism being parroted. Live in the U.S. south and have dealt with many friends and their relatives who have said the same shit. I’ve been around long enough to see those same people completely fall apart when the lives at home just crumble because they’re too busy with work (illness, deaths in family, etc). They always eventually come to regret the decisions and times they’ve missed once they get in their later years.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing to prioritize a work career in one’s life though, but hating on someone else’s choice is just ridiculous.
I’ve just lost someone in my team for 4 months due to paternity leave. As far as I’m aware on full pay too.
I’m happy he gets to take it, you guys in the US have it rough with workers rights. I’d say take the maximum you can and enjoy the time, we’re not put on this earth to generate profit.
Be the change you want to see and make sure you brag to everyone about how great it is when you get back, maybe they’ll start to think differently.
Do it. Be with your offspring as much as you can. Anything else is barbaric corporate slave mentality.
In our country, both parents are allowed to spend 6 months (each) at home with the newborn.
Which country?
Let just say Europe. (Don’t wanna dox myself)
Fair enough
I’m in Australia and our parental leave is alright enough, but dads get an absolute max 100 days, I’m pretty sure… Mums don’t get all that much more…
12 weeks paternity leave at 85% salary? Damn, that’s sweet, even by many EU standards.
I wouldn’t think twice about taking it.
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The quote you’ve quoted is insane. My company gives full pay and same time as maternity leave. 15% pay is fucked. My partner and I are never having kids but I fully support that.
That group you overheard were reinforcing their excuses for ignoring the needs of their child along with the needs of the mom, and reinforcing beliefs that have overwhelming evidence of being false.
Kids needs dads in their lives, the earlier the better. Moms need dads to help out and support them.
You’re not taking time off work to laze about, you’re switching from one job to take on several related jobs for a while so that you,your child, and your woman have a brighter future than any amount of money could buy.
You’re only missing out on taking the easy, shortsighted route. You’re missing out on ignoring the future cost your family has to pay in the long run so that you to get to go back to the familiar routine of work. You’re missing out on staying with the known game of work to avoid taking on something new.
You’re not missing out, they are.
Those guys are going to be “blindsided” by divorce because they’re such “nice guys”….all of the other dudes they constantly spend all of their time trying to impress tell them so
Any man that thinks work is more important than spending time with the family is a bad father. I say this as the son of a bad father.
Oregon has this and it was amazing to take 12 weeks of paternity. We can also split it up, so I did part time for like 30 weeks. Kept us from needing to find childcare until she was almost 1.
Fuck your coworkers opinions. Even the 12 weeks I got is nothing compared to my Norwegian coworkers.
