It can be low effort, passive-aggressive, insulting or derogatory towards your convictions.
Oh fuck i have a long history of this…
My parents got me a cheap set of tools, pliers, screw drivers, level and a wood burner with no wood to burn at 10. My brother got a gameboy SP and Pokémon.
Two years later I got an electric shaver and Cologne. I didn’t start growing facial hair until 17 and didn’t have enough to need more than one pass with a razor until 26. Still have the Cologne, it’s not awful but it’s also not a smell that works for me.
14 I got a store made cake and $20. I can’t eat the cake, the frosting makes my face hurt and that’s been a problem since I was 5 so they know I can’t eat the cake.
Basically, I didn’t get a present for me until I met my wife at 30.
damn, that sounds like you were part of a case study in your childhood. Is there a difference with how your brother turned out and yourself? Interested to know if you picked up skills like DIY and stuff while your brother isn’t capable of those things.
He’s got a far better grasp on career and financial stability but he’s to nervous to do things like drive in the big city or see doctors about mental health. He’s amazing with computers but not great with mechanical things.
I on the other hand suck with computers and am excellent with mechanical things. I put a lot of effort into self improvement and mental health, but still float around jobs and only have a stable homelife because of my spouse. I’d like to say all the DIY stuff I got growing up helped with that, but most of them were shit quality and the ones that didn’t break got absorbed into my dad’s things anyway. My diy skills come exclusively from living with a moto of “well fine, I’ll just do it myself”
I once got a picture of a really cool present from my dad, which he said was in the mail. Never got the present.
Maybe it got “porch pirated”. I thought I was immune from that until my things started disappearing.
I was given 30 quarters that had letters and numbers on each one in a black velvet pouch. If you put them in a certain order, it had a message. The quarters went in year order. The message was a Bible passage according to Matthew. It was when Judas was given 30 silver for betraying Jesus.
The context, I told one of our friends that the gifter was trying to get with his wife while he was deployed. He denied and then made me feel like shit to insinuate such a thing. Turns out, it was true.
I still have the quarters so I could give them back some day.
I was deployed and got a box from my home unit that was basically just trash. I think it was supposed to be funny, but it was just a lot of scrap paper thrown into a box. Nothing written on them that was for me. Nothing to signal anything. Just a big box of trash that could have been nothing more than the recycling bin upended into it.
That was pretty heartbreaking.
Did you ever talk about it with them? Definitely sounds like an inconsiderate joke. Flabbergasting that they managed to follow through enough to get it posted to you.
About 20 years ago
I went to my family Christmas with my then-partner. I got a Grinch onesie from my family
We then attended my partner’s family Christmas where basically the entire living room was stuffed with presents for the kids (my partner and their siblings). My then-partner complained about how the siblings all got more $$ worth of presents. I pointed out that I got a pair of pjs for Christmas. The reply: “it’s not about the dollar amount, it’s just they got more than me” (paraphrased)
I hated that present. A fucking onesie? It was such a disappointing present, and for a long time I used it as an example for questions just like this
I kept it and wore it. Eventually I lost the bitterness and started to cherish it even. Which is why I still wear it regularly this time of year! It’s quite warm… plus, it has pockets!
Grinch tax:
They say once you go Grinch you’ll never go back.
Pizza baking sheets. They didn’t fit in my oven.
A paella pan. I don’t like paella.
A coffee grinder. It just doesn’t grind coffee beans to the right size.
A random Italian cookbook. I have a chefs degree. I’m well down with basic Italian cooking.
See, I cook every day. Twice. And on occasion I love to cook for friends but that also means I’m over poor quality cooking stuff. I’ll buy my own gear. Most people think they do me a favour but I just have useless stuff piling up over the years. I’m grateful to get gifts but last year I just told people right a way that if they want to give me cooking related gifts I would be equally happy with some special sort of salt of some fun ingredients to cook with. Those things don’t last as long but it would make for a much better gift for a food enthousiast.
same. Don’t buy me electronics. I’m too much of a snob to use what you bought. Either stick to the Christmas wish list we all agreed on, or keep the receipt.
Yeah, it gets that way when people know something major you do. The amount of lame chemistry shirts and such is far too high.
I know they mean well, and I definitely appreciate it. But it does get a bit old.
Too small clothes so I’d be excited to go on a diet and lose weight… as an already very sick underweight teen with an eating disorder who wasn’t a wize zero “but you’ll get there”
Paulo Cohelo’s garbage books to “help me with my constant depression that keeps bringing everyone down and you like books, no?”
Stuffed animal toy thay was first intended for a baby shower but the mom didn’t want it so “why should it go to waste if you can have it as a birthday present”
Plastic surgery offering as a sweet sixteen present “so you can feel beautiful”
Professional acne treatment (Accutane) as a birthday present because “Oh you poor thing need it”
A used and stained old yellow blouse “because it will make you look happier” I hate yellow.
And the list goes on lol. That was growing up and it is one of the many reasons why I am no contact with all of those people.
Now as an independent adult in a stable loving relaionship surrounded by nice genuine friends, I actually get very thoughtful and beautiful gifts. Some expensive, some with no monetary cost.
I knew my marriage didn’t have much left in it when for my birthday my wife gifted me a bag of candles that had been half eaten by the kids.
Gift certificate to a tanning salon when I was a Goth kid.
that’s legit funny
This isnt technically a present, but my girlfriend stored a christmas present in the loft of the garage over my car. She accidentally dropped it while getting it down to give it to me and put a ski through my windshield.
aww, kinda cute
My mom once gave me a cat litter scoop like this one
in my Christmas stocking. This was not, to my knowledge, in the context of a conversation about needing to clean up after the cat more often, but for all I know it was her way of subtly trying to get the point across.
I hope it wasn’t used at least
My mother told family I was into geology which I wasn’t, so for my ninth bitrhday I got books about rocks and the hugest fucking hammer.
The hammer felt a little bit cool until I tried it and it was completely useless on the granit which is the only rock in the region, the only thing happening was leaving marks on the stone and shoot mini splinters in the eyes. Totally unuseful for anything else.
Like this but bigger (in my memory, i was only 9), and also cheaper (black head, cheap wood handle):
As a kid I was fascinated by the chunks of rotten rock that would come off of a granite boulder in our backyard. My dad however did not appreciate that I used his nice hammer to smash it. I eventually stopped when I ran out of rotten chunks and found out how hard granite really could be.
My Dad once gifted me a bazinga shirt. I don’t watch the big bang theory.
So one year my sister an I save up for a game cube. We had Kirby air ride, a few controllers, a few Zelda games, we were happy campers.
Christmas rolls around and the first thing I unwrap for christmas? Halo: Combat Evolved.
We’re good sports about it, everybody makes mistakes, second and third gifts? two xbox controllers.
the morning continued, memory cards, some xbox party game, the works.
right at the end, the SOB reveals he won an xbox in a raffle.
happy ending, but god damn that was an awkward Christmas start
I always win this question hands down; my really big asshole NPD of a MIL gave me her very used and threadbare bathrobe as a present. Made a big point of telling me it was hers and she was going to give it to the Catholic thrift shop she volunteered at but then thought it would be a gift for me. It was only fit for the garbage can and had holes in it.
But giving people random trash is a thing she likes to do because she likes to be provocative and “stick poking” in the therapy description. She gave her only grandchild an old vitamin bottle filled with dish soap and a bubble wand she found on the ground in the park. No spending one whole dollar on her only grandchild, oh no, let’s just give her some garbage. And for my BIL who golfed, she walked the public golf course every day and picked up discarded golf tees, chipped and stained and half broken, filled a sandwich bag with them, and that was his present.
She likes to pretend she’s very poor but she’s not, and giving her family literal garbage is her way of trying to provoke a fight because she likes nothing better than to provoke a fight. That’s the only Christmas present she wants is to upset people and make them angry at her.
I have a zillion other horrible stories of her, but you get the gist.
I’ll toss a nice gift in the trash for your MIL to find.
It’s all she really wants.
