Anyone so concerned with presenting as masculine at every possible turn is immediately sus as being closeted to me. Just eat the damn banana like a human. Or like a monkey, which is what I do. I peel it from the bottom.
And as a gay person, any time someone says being gay is a choice, it screams to me that they are at least bi and suppressing those urges and impulses.
real men don’t have time to waste peeling bananas. you either smash it on your forehead and eat the nutrients as they slide down, or you eat the whole thing in one bite.
Deep throat that banana whole like a real man. Yaaaas. What that throat do?
that’s the spirit
Right? Like there’s one category of people that could make a choice. Pretty suspicious that this self-evident thing people can figure out about themselves is somehow a big gray area to that kind of conservative.
In a room full of republicans, proper practice would be to first loudly yell that you hate bananas, then to sneak a banana into the bathroom and deep throat it while crying and then go back into the room and accuse someone else of deepthroating bananas in the bathroom.
I want this sketch as a tiktok.
Maybe I can feed it into midjourney.
I miss the larry craig days when a wide stance in the public bathroom would get them to resign in shame
Know a guy who refuses to eat cheese hotdogs and other similar food because he hates “food that nuts in my mouth”
Must be a hard life being so staunchly anti-phallus
Sounds like he has some feelings to explore.
Aww that’s my favorite kind
Yeah, this guy really not eating gushers? Or ravioli?
In home ec class in middle school we watched a food network video about making stuffed hotdogs where they took a straw and cored a hotdog out and then filled it with white, melted cheese from a piping bag. They squeezed too hard and it jetted out the other end and the camera was perfectly positioned to catch the hotdog’s thick ropes. Then they played it back in slo motion. The class was very amused.
Cheddar brats are bomb though.
With cheese wieners he has a point. Do like scalding your mouth with cheese hotter than the devils pecker?!
“hates”
Worked with a guy who wouldnt eat a hotdog without cutting it up. Pretty sure he was closeted
At some point you’d hope they’d notice that these “workarounds” are more blatantly obvious than the thing they’re embarrassed by.
See I originally thought this was about how girls can’t eat bananas in front of guys cause guys make it sexual.
Arguably being spoon fed would be worse for their fragile masculinity. What kind of man gets spoon fed?
